I should be doing my homework...

For some reason, I'm very nervous about this. It feels like a momentous occasion, my very first blog. Even though it's very likely that nobody will read it, I feel very...exposed.

I'm just going to be honest. Here goes:

I've been overweight ever since I can remember. Sneaking food here and there, and lying about it later when someone asks, "Who ate all the cookies? We just got those yesterday!" Enveloped in shame, I remember sitting out in gym when all the other kids ran laps, but I couldn't keep up, so I quit. I remember going to Weight Watchers countless times, hoping that just maybe, I would stick with it. As it turns out, I never did, and the shame just piled up until I couldn't take it anymore.

Meet Miriam. She is a wonderful woman of God who opened up so many doors that I didn't even know existed. About two years ago, I walked into her office for counseling and she told me that I had an eating disorder called Compulsive Overeating. At first, I didn't believe her. I just thought I was fat, ugly and unmotivated. But she convinced me that it wasn't just me, and my outlook on life, and myself, changed. Through many sessions in counseling, I went from being depressed and ashamed to realizing that I was a child of God; forgiven and loved.

Fast forward to now. I'm a freshman at Huntington University and I have one goal for myself this year: To not gain the freshman fifteen. I'm not talking about weight loss. I just don't want to let my eating disorder (which I will call "ed" henceforth) run rampant on my life (or the cafeteria).

We'll see how this goes.